healer. teacher. coach.

i am a healer.

in 2015 i was in a group with a dear friend helping her to practice her mediumship. during the wonderful reading that she did for each of us, the message i received was “you are a healer.” this really threw me for a loop! at the time of this reading i had just started the lighthouse revolution and i wanted to help people shine their light in the world. i supposed that healing might be a part of that but i had no idea what a healer does or how to be a healer or where to become a healer… it wasn’t an identity i had ever thought of for myself nor a job title i ever thought i would try out… frankly i was confused and unsettled by this message.

fast forward to 2021. i’ve now been struggling with grief, loss, depression… i am feeling lost and i decide that it is time to find myself again. in my exploration of identity i come across a quote that says:

i am a healer because i have what i need within me and around me to heal myself.

reading that, i instantly flashed back to the message my friend gave me. wow. it all makes sense now! remembering back to that moment from my past gave me such a sense of peace in the present, i knew for sure that i did indeed have everything i needed, that i would indeed heal.

it didn’t make sense at first but later, remembering who i was in a moment when i needed to most, made all the difference in the world.

i am a teacher.

in 1998 i decided to become a teacher. i spent my summers at university working with kids, finished my degree and got my teaching certificate, and then eventually got a job working as a high school teacher. then i took a break to have children and we moved to australia and i thought teaching was a thing of my past. i started a photography business and later started a blog about starting a business. in 2012 my best friend’s dad was asking me about my blog and i found myself stumbling over my words trying to explain what i was trying to do with it. he gently interrupted me and said: “i get it. you are a teacher. you were born to learn and to teach, that’s what you do. that’s who you are. you teach.”

that moment was a turning point for me, remembering – honouring – that i was still and always will be a teacher. now, every time i hear the voice in my head that whispers: who am i to do this, i am just a…  i stop it right there and ask that worried, unworthy part of me: wait. what are you worried about? who am i to teach this? i am just a teacher! that’s right baby. i am just a teacher, so i teach. we got this!

teaching isn’t just something i do. it’s something i am… it is a core strength that has been a part of me my entire life. (my favourite way to play as a child was to set up a classroom in my basement. i would erase my school worksheets and then teach my dolls and bears everything i learned and do the worksheet all over again.)

when i was lost and then found, remembering my strengths was a vital part of healing… making time in my day to use my strengths is healing… it strengthens me to learn and teach.

i am a coach.

i never liked using the word coach for the way that i wish to support others, or even the way i help myself. i’ve called myself a light ignitor, i’ve called myself an unstucktor… i’ve made up words to describe what i do rather than use a word that is familiar. i’m not sure why exactly i have resisted using that job title… maybe because i am allergic to playing sports and the word coach kind of gives me sporty icky feelings? maybe i just hung my hat so strongly on being a teacher that i didn’t want to call myself anything else? maybe my inner maverick just hates doing something that “everyone is doing.”

over the past few years, as i have been doing the work to heal, i have also been thinking about what is next for me… like i tell my kids: i am still figuring out what i want to be when i grow up. i thought about going back to work… maybe it was time to get a job as a teacher? i thought about going back to school… i still have a strong desire to help people and an interest in human psychology, maybe i could become a therapist, a counsellor, or a psychologist? i thought about going back to my biz… but what would i offer?

i was listening to martha beck share a story of how she realised she was a life coach… a newspaper wrote an article about her work and called her that. before then she didn’t have a name for what she did she just knew that wanted to help people ease their suffering. that story got me thinking… maybe it is time to embrace the word coach?

i have been to therapy, a number of times. i’ve worked with a variety of different psychologists, counsellors, and therapists. i believe in therapy. and also i have found it frustrating. almost every time i have been to therapy i have left feeling either disempowered or broken – like something is wrong with me that needs to be fixed. over the past few years i have taken a different approach to help myself… i’ve focused on life coaching training and skill building so that i could learn how to coach myself, heal myself, and lead myself. i’ve begun to feel more empowered in my self and in my life and i’ve learned that i was never broken and do not in fact need to be fixed.

the definition of a life coach is someone who helps people identify and achieve goals, overcome challenges and obstacles, and make positive changes in their life. but what i think is the best thing about life coaching is that it’s all about encouraging people to tap into their own power, to take control of their life, to learn how to help themselves. the best life coaches aim to make themselves reduntant! i love that.

and so i am embracing the title of life coach. my made-up labels of light ignitor and unstucktor still fit, and also maybe i need a new label to describe helping people tap into their own inner power – power booster? power raiser? power jump-starter? hmmmm. i’ll have to keep thinking on that.

here’s what i know for sure…

self is a work in progress. the labels we use and choose will change over time and i believe we need to write our own labels and definitions… they ought to liberate us and ignite our true self rather than box us in or diminish us in any way. we must embrace and reject labels and definitions as we see fit, because we get to write the story of who we are.

a self is always becoming… so do keep exploring who you are!