how to put your self first

self leadership is relationship with self.png

i shared last week that my take on the energy and purpose for 2018 is to strengthen the relationship we have with our self. and i do think that this is the most important relationship we have, yet all too often we put ourselves last, or we simply assume that this relationship is the one that will take care of itself and doesn't need any attention.

so let’s get practical with this idea… what would it actually look like for you, to work on this very important but all too often neglected relationship with your self.

one approach is to think about how we build relationships with others and ask: how could we incorporate more of those efforts and activities into the relationship we have to our self? for instance we…

  • go on dates
  • write love letters, thank you notes, congratulations cards
  • give gifts
  • do something nice for them
  • listen to them
  • learn about them
  • show an interest in what is most important to them
  • make them a priority in our busy lives
  • talk to them with compassion, understanding, kindness
  • see the amazing qualities, strengths, and gifts they possess
  • both give and receive guidance, support, permission, encouragement

another thing to consider is: what would make the relationship that you have to yourself feel stronger? is there something that your inner self has been craving more of or something you could do to honour your self more? for instance...

  • exploring your intuition or listening/trusting your inner voice
  • more time for creativity, play, fun, learning, adventures
  • speaking up, being heard, being seen, stop hiding, stop swallowing voice
  • greater authenticity or permission to show up as the ‘real’ you
  • finding yourself again, remembering the you that is inside
  • exploring your purpose, your passions, your dreams
  • building your self-confidence, self-worth, courage, belief in yourself
  • letting go of stuff that no longer serves you well
  • taking action, doing more of what you want to do, following your heart

one last thing that you could explore is the stuff you are longing to receive from others, as this can be a clue for what you could be giving more of to your self. perhaps you've been longing…

  • to be seen, to be heard, to be noticed or recognized
  • for permission to do something, or explore something, or say yes/no to something
  • for someone to come along and give you a push or pull you along somewhere
  • to explore or pursue the topics and interests that ignite you
  • for acceptance, compassion, understanding, guidance, leadership

in any of these areas of exploration, what pops out at you? what makes you think: oh yes, my self could use a little of that this year!? what is the one area of your life that you could work on which would help you feel like you are honouring yourself or building yourself up or putting yourself first?

even if you could just choose one thing from this list, one thing that would help you to strengthen your connection to your self – whether it is to your physical self, or to your higher self or soul, or perhaps to your mind or to your heart – what would it be?

please put that one thing on your ‘to do’ list this year. please put YOU into your planning and your calendar. whether you call it self-love or self-leadership or self-confidence or some other ‘self’ focus thing… put your self first.

it’s time.

you are here for a reason... you have a light to shine... you have a purpose to explore, you have dreams to follow, you have desires to fulfil, you have adventures to go on, you have work to do... there is something that calls to you! 

it is not selfish to put your self first. you cannot shine your light if your bucket - your fuel tank - is empty. you cannot shine if you don't make time for whatever lights you up. you cannot shine if you have lost that spark inside of you. 

and who are you NOT to shine?

karen gunton1 Comment