hello, again.

after quite a long hiatus i am ready to get back to business again – the business of helping people and the business of helping myself too.

i have been gone awhile because i have needed time to heal and deal. over the past two years i have have been in a place of loss, grief, and depression… not only did i lose my loved ones, i lost myself. i lost my way. i lost my mojo.

to be frank… i’ve been stuck. but i know i cannot stay here, stuck in this muck. i know that i must take myself by the hand, rise up from this place, and step forward.

it’s time.

i've been reflecting on my grief and loss over the past two years... perhaps looking back at the road so far in order to find my way forwards.

when my cousin died he had been actively trying to get unstuck and change his life. from him i learned that life is too short and too precious to waste another day.

when my mom died she had been stuck for ages, longing for something different in life. from her i learned that the only person who can make a change in my life is me.

when my dad died he was actually stuck, unable to move or communicate due to stroke. from him i learned that i am not truly stuck, i have everything i need to make a change.

when my grandpa died he was still ready for more adventure in life. for more of everything he loved. from him i learned that life is as full and as fulfilling as we make it.

in their names and memories i am pledging to show up and help people, in any way i can, to get unstuck, to get ignited, to shine their light in the world.

a tricky thing though – once i made that pledge to myself – i’ve had this voice in my head saying: who are you to do this? you’re the most stuck person ever! everyone is sick of hearing about your sadness. no one is going to follow someone who is depressed, lost, sad. your time to shine is over! you’re too late. no one cares anymore. don’t bother.

the more i do the work to help myself – to take baby steps forward out of the stuck place i’ve been in – the more i can recognise that voice for what it is. it’s the voice of the depression & grief: it’s a liar, it’s a black hole that sucks the good away, it’s small and scared and it wants to stay safe in the cave.

i am showing up here today as an active step in ignoring that voice.

i am showing up hoping that maybe i might be able to help someone else to take a baby step forward.

i am showing up for my mom, especially, with my pledge: that we all – those of us who are lost or restless or longing or stagnant or dissatisfied or ready for change – don’t stay stuck.

i feel that my mom was “holding out for a hero” so to speak. waiting for a day or person or event to come along and wave a magic wand and that would be the day that things would change.

what i have learned along the way is that if you are holding out for a hero… they are already here. they are you. you are the hero of your story.

i’ve been doing the work to learn how to be my own hero, i’ve learned a handy thing or two along the way about getting unstuck, and while my journey is far from over i would like to share, to help if i can, and mostly to cheer you on your own journey.

i’ll be sharing here, as well as on instagram and on my facebook page, and i would love for you to join me.

together, we rise.