get unstuck & self-leadership

what does it mean to rise?

imagine you are stuck. some aspect of your life - your work or home or relationships or health or family or self – is just not what you want it to be, but it’s been hard to make a change.

imagine your stuckness is like being in a big muddy puddle. or perhaps a deep hole or a dark cave. or a box, like a cage, keeping you small, safe, same, still, silent.

now imagine someone comes along and reaches out their hand to grab yours… with their help you can rise out of that stuck place you have been in… you can rise up and do more of whatever it is you say you want in life.

now imagine… that person who grabbed you by the hand and helped you RISE… that person is you.

many of us are waiting… suck in inertia, or spiralling downwards, or hiding in our dark cave… waiting for a magic moment for things to change. we’ve been holding out for a hero… but what we need to know is that we are the damn hero.

…we need to ignite that hero within our SELF.

our inner self. our true self. our highest, brightest, bravest, strongest, wisest self.

perhaps you have been feeling stagnant, dissatisfied, inert, no mojo, lost self, lost direction, restless, longing, a desire for more… for change….

how would it feel to say:

my power is turned on.

i am the leader of my own life.

my happiness depends on me.

my next steps depend on me.

my confidence, courage, worthiness, purpose… whatever it is you are seeking… it depends on me.

no matter what you are seeking…

maybe you want to feel more fulfilled in life, maybe you are looking for a sense of direction or purpose, maybe you want to be happy, maybe you are ready to play big, maybe you have a dream you want to pursue, maybe you have things you are longing to create or learn or share or explore, maybe you want a change in some area of your life…

no matter what intention you hold for yourself right now…

it starts with you. it’s up to you.

it’s about self-leadership.

you, taking yourself by the hand, pulling yourself up out of your own stuckness, moving yourself forwards towards more of whatever it is you say you want in life…

it’s your time to RISE.

you are the hero you have been waiting for.

there is a reason i call my mission the lighthouse revolution.

number #1 – i believe you are here to shine your light in the world, in any way you choose.

but that word SHINE gets tossed out like a bit of inspirational candy to suck on – sweet in the moment but never lasting long. and i am sick of it.

how about we stop talking about shining. how about we stop throwing that word out there like it’s the answer. how about we stop with the inspirational lip service. how about we stop waiting… to shine or wondering if we will ever shine. and actually DO something that makes a real difference, BUILD something that really works, BE something that actually truly does shines.

in 2012 i came across a quote by anne lammott that says:

lighthouses don’t go running all over the island looking for boats to save, they just stand there shining.

that was an AHA moment for me. i thought: yessssss. thissssss. this is what i want to do, this is who i want to be, this is how i want to feel. like a lighthouse, standing there, shining. just feel into that for a minute.

but then, my next question was HOW?

and that has been my quest ever since. how do we turn that word ‘shine’ from inspirational candy into something that actually makes a real difference in our lives…

the answer i found – and am trying to practice – is to build yourself the vehicle that allows you to rise up, stand tall, do the work of shining. i think you need to build yourself a lighthouse.

and the other thing you need, is to start a revolution. within your self.

i love the word revolution because it is a reminder to rise up against the old status quo, to empower yourself to create change, to transform your life, to come full circle back to yourself to who you were born to be, and to follow a new leader into a new way of being.

that new leader is you.

you must be the leader of your own revolution. the leader of your SELF.

self-confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-guidance, self-determination, self-motivation. self-empowerment, self-fulfilment.

the one thing those themes have in common… the one word that unites them all…

SELF.

this is a reminder – it starts with you. it is up to you. the only person you can change is you. the only person that can change anything in your life, your work, your self… is you.

as i said, i am working on this myself. i wrote the book on rising, and one on shining, and then i crashed and burned. i was in a pretty stuck place – a dark cave – for a long time. i’ve been through a period of profound loss and it has changed me… somewhere along the way i lost my self. i lost my purpose. i lost my mojo. and i lost my way. but i don’t want to stay lost – i don’t want to stay stuck in this darkness i’ve been in – i’ve had time to heal, time to rest, and time to grieve. i am ready to emerge… i am ready to RISE… and i know it starts with me.

so many people i talk to feel stuck in some area of their life. so many people are feeling like there must be something more to life than this. and many people don’t describe themselves as particularly happy, fulfilled, or ignited. a lot of people will say to me: who am i to shine… i am just a ____. or i am not _____ enough. or it’s not my time or it’s not my thing. or yah, i’d like that, i am inspired, but i haven’t really any idea where to start. or perhaps it’s too hard… i am too tired, i have no time, i have no energy. why bother. things are just crappy.

maybe one day things will change.

and this breaks my heart.

because if there is one thing i have learned in the past couple of years it is this: life is fucking short. too short to stay stuck.

the number one regret of the dying is not doing more, saying more, or BEing more, of whatever it is they always said they wanted to do, say, or be in life. it’s that regret of wasted time and wasted opportunity… not taking the chances that were right there in front of them – and choosing to stay stuck, safe, small, same, silent, instead.

i held my mom’s hand as she died, having not done the things she talked about doing and longed to do for years. she was stuck, and we all thought there was still lots of time, but there wasn’t. i made a promise to her that i would do my best to help others to get unstuck, that no one else would stay stuck, not on my watch.

i do not want any of us to have that regret.

i want us each to be able to say:

i was here.

i was ME.

i lived my best life.

i was brave.

i had purpose.

i made a difference.

i learned, and loved, and tried, and created, and shared, and taught, and wrote, and spoke up, and gave it a go.

and yes doing that can be hard.

it takes courage, and it takes confidence, and worthiness, and belief, and guidance, and support, and resilience, and motivation, and so many aspects of self.

each of those things we can learn, and practice, and build.

each of those things are part of the SELF-leadership we need ignite within us.

it starts with you.

think about that one thing that you want more of in life:

purpose, creativity, connection, confidence, courage, intuition, happiness, love, motivation, success, fulfilment, joy, play, peace…

now say it with me:

my _(thing i want)_ depends on me. everyone else is off the hook.

and because what i want matters to me,

i will ignite the leader within me... i will remember that…

i am the hero i have been waiting for…

i am a RISER.

do listen to the podcast series : i am a riser – we’ll be talking with experts in a variety of fields about the ways in which we might find ourselves stuck as well as practical tools we can all try to help ourselves RISE up out of that stuckness.

and do check out my new book RISE – full of simple, practical self-leadership strategies to get unstuck and make a change.

thank you for being here – my name is karen gunton, and i am a riser.

you are too.