jealousy

yesterday i was scrolling around aimlessly on facebook, as you do, and came across something rad that a fellow entrepreneur is offering.

i was hit by a wave of pure, green envy.

it was uncomfortable. my heart started beating quickly. my mouth went dry. my skin felt itchy. i oscillated between feelings of dejection (maybe i should just give up), despair (this is never going to be me), and defeat (everyone else is doing a better job already).

thankfully that wave of jealousy only lasted a moment: i caught it and i shifted things before i ended up on a bad downward spiral.

(this is what a self-leadership practice does… we don’t stop feeling those things. we don’t become perfect, shining lights. we don’t just magically become immune. but we do become more aware. and we gather tools to actually shift things.)

jealousy, envy, and comparison are actually very helpful things to experience.

because they are a sign.

a sign of what you want for yourself.

a sign of what is whispering inside your heart.

a sign of a direction you can go next.

a sign of something you need to work on.

a sign that there is a need for what you want to offer.

if you allow it, you can actually learn so much from your jealousy. catch yourself in the moment and say thanks to the universe for putting some very valuable information in your path! then study it – what in particular has made you envious?

was it…

the person? their authenticity, vulnerability, integrity, sensitivity, courage… something about the way they are raw, real, empowering, engaging?

the message? the clarity, creativity, humour, inspiration… or maybe it was bold, catchy, clever, concise, shocking, or ranty? what makes it resonate?

the item? the thing they are doing, offering, creating, promoting, celebrating, working on? maybe it’s their business model or their process or their focus?

the engagement? the support they have? the clients they work with? the affirmations of ‘yes please i want that!”? the testimonials? the partners they have found?

or maybe it’s something else?

think about it… we see eleventy billion images, articles, posts, comments, offers, promotions, etc in a day. most of them just skip by our view without triggering us in anyway.

if something does trigger you – well that’s worth exploring!

ask yourself: what am i meant to learn from this? what is this trying to show me?

in my case…

i was jealous of the offer – it was the exact focus and combination of things that i really want to be known for. i was jealous of the copy – it was clear and concise and spot on. and i was jealous that some people i know and truly value were commenting “omg i need this!”

this moment of jealousy showed me that i need to be more clear and concise about what i do and offer, and also step up my game to be more KNOWN for what i offer. it also helped me to realize what i want to spend more time doing for others, and that combination is indeed valued by people.

just recently i have felt insanely jealous when:

a friend was nominated for a ‘top entrepreneur’ list, someone i know produced her own oracle deck, someone i follow was asked to speak at a TEDx event, a friend asked another biz coach to be part of a new thing she was offering.

i learned from each of these moments more about what i want to focus on this year.

just as in the past i’ve learned, thanks to jealousy, that i wanted to write a book, that i wanted to speak at conferences, that i wanted to win an award, that i wanted to be a guest on podcasts and featured in magazines, and more!

jealousy can really show you some very valuable information if you let it!

watch for these thoughts…

i wish i came up with that

i wish they asked me

i wish i was doing something like that

i wish i had time for that

i wish that happened to me

i wish i said that

i wish they said that about me

i wish that was my idea

i wish that was me

that’s how we hear jealousy in our head... “i wish that was me”. and if we let it, that can quickly lead to “poor me” (dejection, despair, defeat).

or we can stop that downward spiral in its tracks and remember…

the light you see in others is a sign… it is a sign of the light that is in you.

so when you think “i wish that was me” be sure to look for the signs and listen to your inner soul whispering “it’s time.” 

#bethelighthouse


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