you aren’t doing it right
how many times a day do you have that little voice inside your head say “you aren’t doing it right.” ?
i do, often. but you know what? i’ve decided to tell that voice to shut up! “ain’t nobody got time for that!”
recently i was feeling really blocked. i was working on a new project and could not get anything done. so then i went off to write a blog post, couldn’t think of a thing to say. so then i thought i would work on a live event that i’ve been wanting to do for a while… nope, nothing there either.
for days i just felt blocked.
so i decided just to give myself some space. i took a break.
then, in a group of biz builders, i was asked how the new project was going. so i explained that i was blocked and taking a break, and many people popped up with some ideas for unblocking.
except that it wasn’t.
instead of seeing helpful ideas in front of me i just saw “you need to do this. you need to do that.” i felt annoyed and defensive.
'"go for a walk?" suuuuuure, i will just drop everything and go for a walk. oh except that i have a 2 year old in tow so a walk isn’t exactly relaxing, and 2 girls to pick up from school, then there is homework, and dinner, and bedtime. and by the time hubby is home it is pitch black out. so no. i can’t just “go for a walk. thank you very much.'
end internal mental rant.
(tell me that i am not the only one who does that!)
so then i took a step back and thought “wow! why is all of this well-meaning advice BUGGING ME so much?”
well the obvious response was: "i feel guilty taking time to do stuff just for me. i have so much to do i just can’t take time off." blah blah blah.
deep down i knew that there was more.
i realized that all of that “do this, do that” advice made me feel like i was “doing space” wrong. like what i was trying in an effort to get unblocked wasn’t the “right way” to go about it.
and one of the things i really want women in biz (myself included) to feel is like they don’t HAVE to do any one thing. they don’t have to DO anything. your biz, your way.
so then i thought about that advice to “hold up a mirror” when something really rubs you the wrong way. what was my annoyance with the advice really showing me about ME.
and i had this huge AH-HA moment.
the reason i couldn’t work on the project or the blog or the event was that i felt like i was adding MORE to people’s to do list – giving them more stuff to “do”, more stuff to “get right.”
once i realized that, it was much easier to go back to the drawing board and reframe what i was working on. i grabbed my coloured pens and a big piece of paper and wrote down what my core purpose is and posted it right at my works space.
my purpose is to help women in biz share their purpose with the world.
because that is what i really want most in this world… to have an impact on one other person, to know that i made a difference to them.
so now as i am working, i am keeping that purpose in my mind – i am not adding more to anyone’s to do list, i am not telling people how they need to do it to get it right. but for those that want help with this one thing, i am going to make it easier for them.
and i decided to simplify the project i was working on – i realized that i was adding all of this extra stuff to beef it up and make it really huge, and putting all of this extra pressure on myself, because that is what i thought i had to do.
who says i have to do it that way?
so i am simplifying. i am keeping my core purpose in mind. and i am giving myself permission to be me.
i hope to do the same for you.
because it’s not about doing more. or doing right. it’s about being you. and doing what you need to do based on where you are at right now.