build worthiness

in this month's keynote presentation we explore the concept of worthiness. what is it? how do we build it? why does it matter so much? i share my own story of feeling "not enough" and offer a few ideas about why we need to stop hustling for our worthiness and what we need to do instead. let's stop listening to that inner voice that says "who am i to..." and ask instead "who am i not to?"

note: our theme for the elevate mindset mastermind in august is building worthiness. join us... learn practical strategies to build worthiness, confidence, and self-beliefpay what you want until the end of july!

what is worthiness?

well a lack of worthiness sounds a lot like:

who am i to…

i am JUST a….

plus i am TOO…

or i am not ___ enough.

maybe when i …

or if i…

… then i will be ready. valuable. deserving. worthy. enough.

a lack of worthiness looks a lot like someone who is staying small. staying stuck. procrastinating. perfecting. playing it safe. paralized by doubt, shame, worry, or fear.

how can we shine our light if we can’t stand tall and say out loud: i am enough. just as i am. i am worthy.

worthiness looks a lot like enoughness. self-worth is related to self-confidence. self-belief. self-love. self-esteem. self- respect. a sense of deserving. of valuing oneself. of knowing that you belong. right here. just as you are.

i’ve spent 6 years working with women in biz, helping them to shine their light in the world. with the lighthouse revolution i’ve been encouraging ALL people to shine their light in the world. and i would have to say…

worthiness is the #1 thing that holds us back.

i know it holds me back!

when i first started thinking about the lighthouse as something that might possibly inspire others as well, i kept resisting talking about it.

there were so many people out there already sharing inspiring messages about purpose, authenticity, and mindset. it seemed like everyone was already saying the same thing as i wanted to say and the bullshit story that kept playing in my head about my message was:

this is not special enough.

i was telling myself that i had to wait until i had a message that was unique and different and special.

but what i was really thinking deep down was that i was not special enough to be sharing this message.

a couple of years ago i had the great pleasure of hearing lisa messenger speak at a conference. in her talk she shared many stories of pitching ideas to some major players in her industry and having some amazing opportunities in her life to meet with highly influential people.

what she learned from each of those moments and shared with us was this: we are all equal.

there was nothing more or less special about any of the people she had met with in her work, just as there was nothing more or less special about any of us in that room. we are all the same.  we are all equal. we are each deserving. and we can each go after any opportunity we like. we can each share any message that matters to us.

i had been in this pursuit to feel like i was special. i was waiting for my message to feel special. but what i really needed to feel was worthy. enough.

when we put others on a pedestal of being ‘special’ or more than us in some way – just as when we put ourselves on a pedestal against others and feel that we are more than them – we create a really dangerous situation where our worthiness depends on others.

the reality is that our worthiness does not depend on anyone but ourselves. no one can come along and make us feel worthy. and no one can take our worthiness away from us.

not if we don’t let them.

we are all worthy. we are all deserving. we are all special. and yet no one is special… we are all the same.

we just need to start believing it!

and we need to start building it. ourselves. it’s up to us.

so that voice in your head that says you are:

not special enough

or good enough

or unique… trained… perfect… ready… enough

or maybe the voice says you aren’t

pretty enough

or thin… smart… funny… outgoing… clever… rich… enough

or maybe it says you are

too young

too old

too new, boring, loud, introverted, logical, woo woo….

or whatever else that voice is saying you are too much of!

perhaps it says you are just a…

mom. kid. wife. student. worker. volunteer… a nobody.

it’s time to respond to that voice.

when it says: who am i to…

ask instead: who am i NOT too.

you ARE enough.

you are adequate. sufficient. complete. acceptable. plenty. worthy.

just as you are.

if that voice in your head sounds a lot like something someone said to you once? or sounds a lot like something you told yourself once… because of something that happened in the past?

how about we replace it with something new. how about if we say out loud:

hey. my worthiness depends on me. you are off the hook.

here is my challenge to us all….

let’s stop hustling for our worthiness by striving to feel special. or perfect. or enough.

and let’s not dim our light so that others who are “supposedly” more worthy may shine instead.

what we need to do is claim our worthiness. we need to honour ourselves and love ourselves and value ourselves and believe that we are absolutely enough just as we are.

if we want others to think we are worthy, valuable, deserving, and enough, we must first think those things of our self.

build yourself up. build your worthiness.

stand tall… like a lighthouse… so that you may shine.