i have this theory.
i think that we each have one big thing to deal with in our lifetime… the big challenge we must face, the big question we have to answer, the big obstacle we have to overcome, the big lesson we are here to learn, the big story we have to write a new ending to… that one big thing that shows up again and again in our lifetime for us to work through.
i am pretty sure that my one big thing is about worthiness, because the story that seems to come up again and again is “i’m not enough” “this is not enough” “so it’s never going to land” – and just when i think i have cleared that block or changed that story, it sneaks back in again!
that’s the beauty of knowing your big challenge. by acknowledging it, we can more easily recognize it when it comes up again and again… and with that awareness, this big thing loses some of it’s power over us, some of it’s heavy weight.
it becomes just that thing we are here to do in this life time.
oh hey there BIG, persistent, thing… i see that you’re back again. ok then, let’s do this. i’m ready for ya, this time.
how can you figure out what your one big challenge is?
here are some clues…
that poor me/victim place that you go to when things get hard: why does this always happen to me? why doesn’t anybody ever…? when is it going to change? it’s so unfair! wahhhhh.
that situation that seems to trigger you every time, no matter how much you try to move past it: omg, i cannot believe that he said that… he did that…he made me feel like…!!!
that excuse you come up with to stay where you are: i want to, but… i would, except… i tried, but… that’s great for you, but my situation is special.
the pattern that you seem to play out over and over again: this happens, and then i do this, and then that happens, and then i feel like…
if you have a think about these clues and what they point to in your life, it might seem like you have more than one big thing (of course we face more than one challenge in our lifetime!) but if you start to dig a little deeper, explore a little further, and get to the core of those things you might find that in the end they all are pieces of the same puzzle… the same big thing.
and it might be really hard to figure this out about yourself at first. when we are deep in the trenches of our stuff we don’t always see the big picture created by all those little puzzle pieces.
but you can practice by becoming more aware of the people in your life… see if you can figure out what their one big challenge is. (it’s way easier to recognize this in other people because we aren’t so close to it, plus we are more naturally able to help others rather than help ourselves.)
you might notice that someone you love always seems to say: no one ever listens to me anyways, no one ever seems to care what i have to say about it. their big challenge might be around finding their voice or being visible. someone else in your life might seem to always find themselves in a pattern of people pleasing… maybe their one big thing to learn here is how to stand in their own truth, creating boundaries, or putting themselves first.
it’s actually very helpful to recognize the big challenge for the people in your life – not that you have to tell them what you think they need to do or help them to navigate it – but rather, it helps to see that we each are on our own journey. and to recognize that sometimes their stuff is indeed just their stuff - the stuff they are here to learn - and it’s not about you. it helps us to have compassion for others... even if we don’t want to be in the trenches with them and their stuff we can still let them go from a place of compassion.
plus, the more you can catch those clues in the people around you, the more you can start to catch them for yourself too.
once your own one big challenge makes itself clear to you, what do you do?
as i said, i think awareness is the key… with it, the energy around that big thing will begin to change. you will see yourself and your challenges a bit differently, plus you will be more willing to tackle this stuff head on when you know it’s what you are here to do… you will approach your challenges in a new way.
try to reframe that big challenge or big question or big obstacle in a new way.
so instead of always saying: when will i be good enough? when will this be good enough? when will it land?
i try to catch myself now and reframe those questions into the very thing that i am here to learn… i am enough just as i am. it is enough, it is landing… i see evidence of that all of the time.
i also believe that our biggest challenge... our deepest wound, our most persistent obstacle... is actually our greatest gift. it is when the tide is at its lowest that we can find the treasures in the sand. and it is through our darkness that we find our light.
i started the lighthouse revolution, not because i had magically discovered what i was here to teach in this lifetime, but rather because it was what i needed to learn myself. the lighthouse is what i needed in my own life & work to navigate my way through the darkness… i built exactly what would help me to clear my fog and shine my light. my effort to face my darkness head on has become the gift that i am here to share with others.
and so, facing your one big thing is indeed what you are here to do in this lifetime… why not face it head on? why not tap into your inner free spirit, your inner playful explorer/adventurer, and face it head on with a sense of wonder, of curiosity… ready to spiral with your stuff… to learn & grow… knowing that with each little step you take you are one step closer to your light.
what is your one big challenge for this lifetime?
#bethelighthouse and face it head on… it is only by shining your light on it that the darkness recedes and the gift is discovered.